monday shmunday

soooooo last night was fun. i hung out with danielle and ben ben tasties, who happens to be one of the many boys i have on a string. After reading "The Game" i totally appreciate all the guys i talk to even more. he talks about imagining your own reality, which is something i do regularily. In the book he informs his ten girls about the others....i dont. Lets see....right now theres Matt, Eric, Ben, Monty,Geoff,Biway,Noah and Scott. They all are hookups i could call and be like "HEY lets get together!" andd fuck. except for Scott,Noah,Biway Ben and Eric. see if you can figure that one out hahaa.
This morning i weighed myself and i was 128.8. not too terribly bad...pretty much my normal weight. i was expecting to be heavier because last night i smoked and went to dennys with danielle. i got a sampler and ATE THE WHOLE THING! it was crazy. I've just recently started eating meat( i was a vegetarian for 1 1/2 years) and now im expirimenting with chicken because it makes me full. what can you do right? but this shit last night was FRIED. fried onion rings....chicken and mozzerella sticks. soo bad. ohh well i had the munchies. and danielle is fun. sherilyn is so incredibly negative that she really gets on my nerves sometimes. this morning she had me write out her cheat sheet for psych because she was too lazy to do it herself. i swear she acts like a queen and expects everyone to be her servents. im going to hang with danielle more and shona. seriously ive had enough of being abused and controlled. at least im skinnier than her.

that was mean. shes my best friend. and i do love her. but seriously darling....its kindof gross.
anyway till next time :)

First of many, i hope

so ive been struggling for a while now, but hope to finally be "good"
im at 130 pds...5'8. wayyyy too fat. at my best i was at 115. i was happy then. i really want to get back there. i just started taking birthcontrol and i feel like its making me fat. and my prozac was working as a fine appetitie suppresant(im mia) but now its not working as well and im binging. ill have to get up the courage to tell my doctor and get some MORE meds. god i hate medication. i hate it. but if it makes me stop thinking about food all the fucking time and actually helps me get to my goal weight....why the fuck not? ahh i hope i actually write in here more often. i was searching for thinspo and Not_alone's profile popped up. she inspired me to start writing in an online journal again. and shes got GREAT thinspo. check her out. till next time...